Wedding Invite wording, how does this sound?

Two friends, two hearts


joined together in friendship


united forever in love.


together with their families


Jane Doe


and


Jon Doe


invite you to share in the joy


and celebration of love


as they exchange marriage vows


on Saturday, the twentieth of October


at one o’clock in the afternoon


Blank Church


1701 Oleander Ave.


Your Town, New York

Wedding Invite wording, how does this sound?
Sounds sweet.


I like the "joined together in friendship, united forever in love" part, that is awesome.


Congratulations!
Reply:With the exception of the line "together with their families" that is exactly what I'm using! Great Choice!!





Congrats and Best Wishes!
Reply:ooohh that's beautiful! did you write that?? i think it's perfect, i wouldn't change a thing!!!!
Reply:Awsome, That's really nice and very romantic.
Reply:First of all, let's hope you are not marrying a guy who is your relative with the same last name as you! It would be usual to include your middle names, as well.





Put the time first, then the date, but you forgot the YEAR - you need to put it into words "Two thousand and seven".


You also need to add the reception information in the lower left corner, flush left -


Cocktails 5:30 p.m.


Dinner 6:30 p.m.


Dance to follow


Donald Trump Ballroom


45 Main Street


Wherever, NY
Reply:Personally, I think is blah and boring





But that is just my opinion. It's just plain cute and seen a million dozen times.





hey, you asked for an opinion.
Reply:I would put "together with their families" under your two names. What you are saying is like inviting someone by saying your children and mr and mrs smith are invited...its awkward...also...





Two friends, Two hearts


Joined together in friendship,


united forever in love.





Jane Doe


and


John Smith


together with our families


invite you to share in the joy.....





I would put a space between the different elements of the invitation...the wording is very nice though.
Reply:Sounds fine but you can't say 1:00- see example.





Saturday, the third of November


Two thousand and seven


at half after three o’clock in the afternoon.





And then you may want to add-


Reception to follow at


Banquet Hall on at la la land
Reply:It sound fine. Can I have one? lol j.k.good luck!
Reply:if you wrote this yourself, then you ought to be writing for Hallmark!


it very romantic and charming! make sure you write it exactly as it is shown here, you couldn't possibly improve it -its perfect!
Reply:Sounds good! Congrats
Reply:I like it
Reply:It sounds a little like something you might see on a tombstone. I don't mean that to sound ugly. It's just the first four lines that give that impression to me.
Reply:It does imply that you are paying for the wedding yourself. As neither of your parents are hosting.





That is the case right?





They may be chipping in to help a bit, but if you are hosting it yourself and paying for most of it--then that is an excellent invite.





If your parents are paying a majority or the brides parents are paying for all of it, they would feel slighted by that invite.





But if you are, then its great!





("Together" [with their families] should be capitalized on the actual invite as it starts a new sentence.)